Have you ever heard the song titled “Little Boxes”? It was originally performed by Malvina Reynolds in 1962 and I learnt it thanks to a primary school teacher who had a habit of introducing his class to folk songs. According to the Wikipedia page the “song is a political satire about the development of suburbia and associated conformist middle-class attitudes”. I guess in a way I see it as a challenge to try thinking outside the box (made of ticky-tacky)…
I should add here that, as a sociologist whose work has focused considerably on the segregation produced in relation to suburbia and how it could help us understand South African cities (see my PhD for more), this song has really struck a chord in recent years.
Then again, for a long time I have been prone to the kind of thinking that criticises unquestioned conformity. In fact, it was that kind of questioning that shaped the motto below and the phrase “the rut race”. By the way, I came up with both during my first extended sojourn abroad, in my 20s, before grad school.
I don’t want to spend my whole life (simply) preparing to die comfortably.
I have certainly made numerous decisions that don’t fit the expected narrative of someone my age, from my country, of my ethnicity. But, sometimes they also did not conform with broader expectations in the Western(ised) world.
But, let’s get back to the song and and its critique of conformity. On its own, these expectations don’t appear to be problematic. That is, until you start questioning those expectations and/or resisting them.
“For my part, I can’t do anything else but what I am doing.”
Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
That’s when the costs of nonconformity or (to put it another way) the rewards of conformity become more evident. It is then that the subtleties of those expectations also become more evident. If we don’t live how/where we are ‘supposed to’ and if we don’t work or shape our careers in the ways we are ‘supposed to’.
That’s when the costs of nonconformity or (to put it another way) the rewards of conformity become more evident. It is then that the subtleties of those expectations also become more evident. If we don’t live how/where we are ‘supposed to’ and if we don’t work or shape our careers in the ways we are ‘supposed to’.
Let me clarify that this is not the start of a manifesto to fight any and/or all forms of conformity. In fact, it’s not even a criticism of living a life that has much in common with those around you. Instead, it’s a preamble to a rather open-ended question: Why have you chosen to live the life you’re living?
Once again, I’ll acknowledge that I’ve been more privileged than most. I’m not talking in terms of coming from a wealthy family, but rather in terms of opportunities I have had, not family wealth). Many don’t have the means and/or never get the opportunities I’ve gotten, but to those who might have had the means and/or opportunities, I ask: Do you know when and/or why you chose to live the life you’re living?
I think people tend to focus on the risks of stepping off the more familiar and/or well-trodden paths, but rarely I wonder how often people consider the cost of conforming to expectations. After all, by simply ‘going with the flow’ (even if we do so reluctantly) we potentially reinforce those norms, and it might not necessarily be to our advantage.
So how do you choose? How do/can you better understand the risks/costs of (not) conforming to others’ expectations? Only you can start the process of answering that for yourself.
NB: This is about choices and decisions; what you choose/decide doesn’t matter, but know the reason does… in my (not so) humble opinion.
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2 thoughts on “Thinking outside the box (made of ticky-tacky)”
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The well thought through article makes one think.
🌟🌟🌟
Thanks. It’s based on something I’d written previously, but including some reflections on the last year.